Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Final Arcana

And now, the last of it... distractions, distractions...

15 - Devil
My life - Haley23
Persona games - President Tanaka (3), Sayoko Uehara (4)
The Devil is all about temptation. With Tanaka, you are tempted to focus on money and swindling people out of it. With Sayoko, she tries to seduce you, having a flirtatious attitude in past and present. Haley23 is a denizen of a game room that I frequent - there is precedent to having a social link be a virtual person; that would be Maya, the Hermit link from Persona 3. Haley23 is supposedly a 14-year-old girl, who apparently has body issues, and claims to love every boy in the room. She is my temptation - she makes me want to act ten years younger than I am, with my adult vocabulary. She also makes me want to rip her hair out, or melt her keyboard. Yet despite these temptations, she is fascinating, and she may actually be a good person on the other side of the screen... but who can tell?

16 - Tower
My life - My parents
Persona games - Mutatsu (3), Shyuu Nakajima (4)
I have yet to meet Shyuu in-game, so my basis for the Tower arcana is through Mutatsu. He is a gruff, rather pessimistic monk that the Protagonist meets in a bar. He is a giver of tough love; he has made mistakes, has thought about them, and eventually is able to pass on advice. My parents are rather far away from me right now, and they have a lot of tough love for me, but they are also very kind, sending me goodies and news from home. Eventually, like Mutatsu and his family, we'll reconcile and start a new relationship, as equals.

17 - Star
My life - Audrey Miller
Persona games - Mamoru Hayase (3), Teddie (4)
Mamoru is a star of the rival track team, and Teddie is your main contact from the TV world. Both are bright, hopeful individuals. Teddie is closer in personality to Audrey, in that at first meeting, both he and she are hard to understand - Teddie's weird, and Audrey is less than two years old. However, during the course of time, each one grows and becomes much more dynamic individuals. My niece-to-be is adorable, a little fussy, but still a bundle of fun. The Star is only a depressing card in that a star will eventually fall - in Audrey's case, the only disappointment is that her innocence as a child will eventually fade away, once she grows up. Right now, though, she's a cute handful.

18 - Moon
My life - Theresa St. John
Persona games - Nozomi Suemitsu (3), Ai Ebihara (4)
The Moon arcana is all about illusions. Nozomi has the illusion of indulging in both overeating and a religious cult, while hiding inner sibling issues. Ai is a materialistic individual, who often has shallow reactions, but is holding past weight and pressure issues inside. My future mother-in-law loves me dearly, and can be very sweet, but she also has an addictive personality, and tends to be quite lazy and lax about household duties. She smokes, watches reality TV late into the night, and has weight issues and type 2 diabetes. She has also had issues with alcoholism and physical abuse in the past - since my upbringing was pretty idyllic, the thought that my love had to deal with this sort of thing in the past is scary, especially since Terri is mostly harmless these days. I can only hope that if something DOES happen, it will allow her to shed some of the addictive practices and become a more normal person.

19 - Sun
My life - Joseph Larose
Persona games - Akinari Kamiki (3), Yumi Ozawa (4), Ayane Matsunaga (4)
The Sun is a symbol of clarity and redemption - Akinari accepts his dying fate, and becomes redeemed; Yumi accepts her father's abandonment and death; and Ayane accepts that she has great musical potential, despite not playing the instrument she wanted. Joe is not always a ray of sunshine for me, but we have always had a lot of common ground, even with some sexual tension. These days, he reminds me of the good, geeky times we had, and flirts with me online. He also uses me as a sounding board when it comes to relationships (this is not limited to him, for I've helped others, too), and hopefully through my feedback, he finds a way to redeem himself in his own heart. There is no doubt in my mind that I'll be glad to see him again when I come home.

20 - Judgment
My life - Our marriage
Persona games - Nyx Annihilation Team (3), Alliance of Truth Seekers (4)
In the games, the teams once represented by the Fool Arcana eventually cap, then are reformed into teams represented by the Judgment Arcana. In my life, the next natural step in our engagement is our marriage. We will form a much stronger bond, and be legally recognized as a couple, beyond any doubt. This will happen when we are back east, when we have finally begun to live on our own, and stand on our feet - we will find a new form of freedom.

21 - World/Aeon
My life - Our future children
Persona games - Aigis (3)
The World is a culmination of all the other Arcanas. In the Persona games, it is usually the force which allows the Protagonist to defeat the final boss of the game; it is also the hidden arcana that represents Aigis' social link, if the right ending is chosen. Aigis has this arcana because when it begins, she is finally becoming more human, exploring her emotions and making her own decisions. For Case and I, our children will be the culmination of our journey that we started in the beginning. It is the end of our cycle, and the beginning of a new cycle of growth, for the little ones that we will raise together. The thought of this, of all these arcanas leading up to this, gives me great hope for my future as an individual, as a fiancee, as a wife, and as a mother.


So, those are the Arcana!
One last note: in perusing the Arcanas, I was considering which I might be as an individual. I came to the conclusion that I was the Priestess: quiet, intuitive, knowledgeable, and mysterious. I also have similar personalities to Fuuka, Yukiko, and Ripley (yes, I know it's hard to gauge a cat's personality, but bear with me, we're very much alike).

And now, back to your regularly scheduled (ha!) posts about my life.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Major Arcana, Part 2

Sorry for the delay - some of my creative energy has been going towards a story that keeps spinning out of my head. It involves the protective figure, Shiisaa (also spelled Shisa), which looks like a lion or dog with a human face and teeth. Shiisaa, incidentally, is in the Hierophant Arcana in both Persona 3 and 4.

So, back to the Arcanas:

8 - Justice
My life - Missony Cardenas
Persona games - Ken Amada (3), Chihiro Fushimi (3), Nanako Dojima (4)
The Justice Arcana seems to be associated with youthful, quiet figures in the Persona games. It's true enough that Missony is a little younger than I am, and has quite a quiet demeanor. However, placing him as Justice almost seemed premature or weak... I guess because it was hard to tie him to the immaturity that Ken, Chihiro, and Nanako all represent. But turning to the original interpretations helps - Justice is about rationality, objectivity, and clear vision. Those terms tend to fit Missony very well.

9 - Hermit
My life - Tucker St. John
Persona games - Jin Shirato (3), Maya (Ms. Toriumi)(3), The Fox (4)
Tucker insists that the Hermit does not represent him well - he prefers Magician, or the Devil Arcana (which will wait until next time). However, Tucker does tend to withdraw from society more often than not, as the Fox has withdrawn to the shrine in town - his means of joining society tend to be limited to the online connections, just like Maya and Innocent Sin. Like Jin, he is very tech-savvy. He can be very intelligent, although he tends to focus on more trivial things. The Hermit warns that withdrawing completely from society can be dangerous, and that may be Tucker's case as well... if he doesn't grow up, he may stay in this house forever.

10 - Fortune
My life - Daniel Griffin (Griff)
Persona games - Takaya Sakaki (3), Keisuke Hiraga (3), Naoto Shirogane (4)
The wheel turns, and where do you go when you're the one sitting on it? Takaya went from trying to protect Tartarus to revelling in how its fall brought Nyx to the world. Keisuke had to decide what he wanted to do with his life - the side-project of artistic endeavor, or following in his father's footsteps. And Naoto had to come to terms with what she was and what she wasn't, deciding to live her life for herself rather than her ideal self. So how does Griff fit into this? Like Takaya, he can be very relaxed in manner, and very persuasive. Like Keisuke, he has many talents, but has not yet decided as to what fits him perfectly, and he has to deal with his father's shadow. Unlike Naoto, Griff is very content with what he is, but an interesting point is the fact that Naoto was a girl playing herself off as a guy; what kind of attractions did she have, if any? Did she like both sexes? Because Griff does, and that is one of many things that makes him unique.

11 - Strength
My life - Sherry Green
Persona games - Koromaru (3), Yuko Nishiwaki (3), Kou Ichijo/Daisuke Nagase (4)
All three or four characters in the games are tough cookies, for sure - Koromaru defeated a Shadow completely on his own before he was recruited to SEES, Yuko is athletic and a leader, and Kou and Daisuke both lead their respective sports teams. Through my time with Sherry, it seems like she has had a tough (possibly urban) upbringing, but she is much stronger because of it. If I needed someone's ass kicked, I would surely turn to her, not only because of her physical prowess (she may be short, but she is SOLID), but because she has weapons and she knows how to use them. Although she can have shortcomings (forgetful sometimes, talks to herself a lot), she is very much a rock or a pillar in our lab.

12 - Hanged Man
My life - Kozmo
Persona games - Chidori Yoshino (3), Maiko (3), Naoki Konishi (4)
Like Missony, this was rather a rushed decision for Kozmo's placement. I guess that the main motivation for connecting him as such is due to his inaction, which is what the other three characters share with him. Chidori is Strega's support system and healer, so she is much more of a passive player in their game. Maiko is only a child, so she is a passive observer in her parents' divorce, but becomes more active as time goes by. Naoki is dealing with the attention that came after his sister's death, and is having a hard time getting past it. Kozmo is, by far, the laziest cat I've seen, who tends to meow at you to let him out from the other side of the room. He even looks back at you when you see how much he's eating from the dish. There is also a connection of sacrifice to him - in the future, when Case and I leave here, we will have to leave Kozmo behind, because we would not want him to be separated from Ripley.

13 - Death
My life - My inner self
Persona games - Pharos (3), Ryoji Mochizuki (3), Hisano Kuroda (4)
No, I am not dying. Death, in these cases, are not so much about physical death, but the actual change that comes from within in the presence of death. Pharos is a being inside the Protagonist's mind (and body), Ryoji is a harbinger of the Fall of the world, and Hisano is a woman in mourning clothes after her husband's death. My inner self is a naysayer, one that imagines the worst possible scenarios, almost bringing me to tears - in fact, many of those scenarios tend to involve me or a loved one dying. I guess part of that is the unknown - what will happen to the one I love when he or she dies? Where will that soul go? And what will happen to me when I die? Is there a place beyond this? These are questions that my inner self tends to ask, especially when I'm trying to get to sleep. But even if the ideas and questions upset me, they are only part of a cycle of problems and solutions, and when I wake I might be provoked to do something about them.

14 - Temperance
My life - Nick Husher
Persona games - Andre Roland Jean Gerard (Bebe) (3), Eri Minami (4)
Both Bebe and Eri tend to be people trying to find balance in their situations. Nick may achieve that balance a lot in his life (it's harder to tell now, since I'm on the other side of the country), but it always shifts one way or another, so he has to find balance again. Like Bebe, he is very creative, and can get very excited about what he does; that's one of the things I find endearing about him. Like Eri, he can be very detached about the world and relationships, sometimes putting distance between himself and those who care about him. Still, he always manages to find balance again. One interesting note - Nick was against me moving out here to California, and he may have had a good reason to be. Trying to find my balance here, between social and solitude, between work and play, has been hard... I'm not even sure if I'll be able to.

Next time - All the rest, 15 - 21

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Major Arcana, Part 1

Recently, Case and his brother and I have been playing the Shin Megami Tensei games: Persona 3 and Persona 4. These games are RPGs on the PS2, which involves battling in dungeons and using social links to make your summoned beings stronger. These social links involve the Major Arcana of your standard Tarot deck. I'm not sure whether this a trademark of Persona games, or whether the other SMT games are the same.

At any rate, I decided to apply the Major Arcana to my own life, using figures from my daily life as the arcana, based on the characters/situations in the Persona games I've played.

0 - Fool
My life - Our Engagement
Persona games - SEES (3), the investigating group (4)
The Fool Arcana is introduced near the beginning of the games, being the core set of characters who start the journey. For me, the journey, with the subsequent interactions, began after Casey and I got engaged, and I moved out here. Each of the protagonists ended up moving to a new place in the beginning of each game. Also, the initial Fool group evolves into the Judgment group, which I'll discuss later.

1 - Magician
My life - Brandon Sanchez
Persona games - Junpei Iori (3), Kenji Tomochika (3), Yosuke Hanamura (4)
In general, the Magician tends to be somewhat immature, cracking jokes about life in general, while sometimes having vulnerabilities to work through. Brandon tends to joke around with me a lot, playing off my general gullibility/good nature, but in truth he's a nice guy, who sometimes comes to me with relationship questions. In life as well as in the game, the Magician is fun to have around, ready to laugh and be laughed at.

2 - Priestess
My life - Ripley
Persona games - Fuuka Yamagishi (3), Yukiko Amagi (4)
It's not unusual in Persona games that social links are not human. In Persona 3, Koromaru (although not a social link) was a dog with the Arcana of Strength. In Persona 4, the Fox was living in the local shrine, with the Hermit Arcana. Also, for me, cats tend to be just as much of my siblings as humans, since I was raised with them. I chose Ripley as Priestess because she represents a lot of the mysterious aspects of my life - she comes and goes as she pleases, and rarely makes a lot of noise. Both Fuuka and Yukiko are quiet figures in the games as well.

3 - Empress
My life - Courtney Miller
Persona games - Mitsuru Kirijo (3), Margaret (4)
Part of my choice for Courtney being of the Empress is the mother/sister figure that she holds. Mitsuru was the main leader for SEES in Persona 3, serving as a kind of mother and older sister. Margaret, Igor's assistant, is the older sister of Elizabeth, Igor's assistant in Persona 3. Courtney, although being ten months younger than me, already has a child and is living in her own home - she is very motherly, and has been that way for Casey and his brothers through most of their lives. I'd almost consider her more of an older sister than a younger one.

4 - Emperor
My life - Chip St. John
Persona games - Akihiko Sanada (3), Hidetoshi Odagiri (3), Kanji Tatsumi (4)
As Chip is the head of the family, it's only logical that he be of the Emperor Arcana. He's hard to get to know sometimes, usually making wisecracks. Like the rest of the family, he's very stubborn, but he is also fair. He is tough as nails, just like all the Emperor Arcana characters in the Persona games.

5 - Hierophant
My life - Ron Rodriguez
Persona games - Shinjiro Aragaki (3), The Old Couple (3), Metis (3), Ryotaro Dojima (4)
Ron has been my surrogate dad and advisor since I came west. If I could call anyone Senpai, it would be him. He represents knowledge and experience, as associated with Shinji (tough former member of SEES), the old couple (age and a bookstore), and Dojima (an uncle). Metis's connection to the Hierophant Arcana seems slim at least, more as a placeholder since Shinji was killed off in the main part of the game - although maybe having more knowledge about Aigis's inner desires. At any rate, Ron is my Senpai, who has taught me more about my job than maybe even my first employers.

6 - Lovers
My life - Casey St. John
Persona games - Yukari Takeba (3), Rise Kujikawa (4)
The Arcana says it all - Casey is my lover. And, as with the characters in the Persona games, he is my main source of both healing and support. When I'm feeling sick, he's always sympathetic, and does what he can to make me comfortable and help me get better. When I'm stressed out about my life, he offers as much support as he can. He is also at a crossroads - when I entered his life, his future was unclear, but now he has choices to make. Whatever decision he makes, I will be with him.

7 - Chariot
My life - Travis St. John
Persona games - Aigis (3), Kazushi Miyamoto (3), Chie Satonaka (4)
The Chariot Arcana in the Persona games reflects on a lot of the physical strengths of the characters - Aigis is a robot, with superhuman strength, Kaz is a star sports figure for school, and Chie is a tough girl who fights with her feet. All of these characters eventually have weaknesses that they have to deal with - growth of emotion, physical ailments, and friendship issues. Travis is a scrappy guy, whom I definitely wouldn't take on in a fight, but he has various issues with family. I can only hope that time will help him achieve more with what lies ahead of him.


Next time - Major Arcana 8-14.